So in my head there is a concept that I am a hardworker, but there is another one in which I am a lazy bastard, born to one day fail and be laughed at. I cannot divide by days properly. Organization is a killer to me. I want to spend all day working. I want to create each and every day, non stop. If I did this, then I would succeed in life. People would see my achievements and I would have perfected my desired skills in every area that excites me. There are people who do this. I’m jealous. I want my heart to keep racing and my mind to tell me if I do not work on these pieces all day, then your heart will stop and you will die! Create so you don’t die! Create so that people like you! Create so that you have some kind of future! But I can’t. I can’t work hard. Others say I do. But I will never feel satisfied. For it can take hours to days to weeks to just generate an idea on paper. Some are born with quick, wonderful talent, but I’m not so sure I am one. But I would like to change myself. I want to be the best possible concept my head can fathom. I'll do it.